I can't believe it's here. A mere seven hours before my plane takes off and then I will be in Southampton, England. Fourteen hours later of course, but still. I am trying to process all the emotions at the moment. I think that once I get onto the plane, I will be able to relax and just enjoy this gift that God has given me. Right now, I am simply thinking of all the things that can still go wrong on the way from my driveway to the airport. But those are distractions, and nothing can stop me from going if it is His will for me to be there. Jesus is so stinkin' good to me!
The overwhelming amount of grace and blessings that have been an out pour of God's steadfast love for me is truly humbling. I have done nothing to deserve going to England. Europe had become an idol, and I was pursuing my flesh because I thought it would bring more satisfaction than the presence of God. I didn't even care that is was untrue and weighed myself down with what the world said mattered, but Jesus beckoned me back to Him. Thankfully, I realized how satisfying Jesus is and surrendered my idols, having no desire to step foot in England or a European country. A week later Above Bar Church emailed asking for an interview for Transform. There was so much discernment in accepting the interview, I had just given this idol up and I specifically asked God for the people at Above Bar to either not respond or tell me no. I always get a chuckle at how many times I have asked something of God and He, in His all knowing kindness, did the exact opposite. I am extremely blessed that the Lord gave me back something that my heart desired. However, I would just like to say that does not always happen. Giving something up to God, doesn't mean He will give it back once you have learned your lesson, that is law not grace. Giving up whatever you hold dearest means you are giving Him complete control and trust, allowing Him to do His will for your life that will bring the most glory to His name. Sometimes He gives it back, other times He has something better.
A common question I have been getting lately is, what am I most nervous/scared about? Mostly, I am nervous about creating new relationships and community. I have amazingly Godly friends that push me towards Christ even when I don't want to. There have been moments where I am afraid that this isn't where Jesus wants me, but then I remind myself all that has occurred over the last few moments, and it is clear that I am meant to go to Southampton. I am so thankful for my relationship with Christ and the opportunity to grow in my walk by being completely out of my comfort zone. My dear friend, Kourtney Carnes, reminded me that if I am walking in His will and all I have is the Lord, what a great place to be! I get to be with Him and comforted by the Highest of High. I can't wait for this new season to begin. I love that God is allowing me to be used for His Kingdom and glory.
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